Return of the Blog.

I am a pathetic blogger.

But this was already known. I have admitted it in the past, and have apologized.

However, I also said in the last post that I would return to blog-land when I returned from my adventures.

So here I am.

I am sitting in an internet cafe down the road from the condo I am currently living in with my parents and brother, and the battery of my precious laptop is about to die. So I continue to leave all (3) of you hanging in the balance yet again.

All that matters is, I'm back. And boy, do I have stories for you...

Even though...

I find it kind of cheesy when people say, "I've come to a cross-road in my life".

So it's understandable that I'm almost embarrassed to say, that I have come to a cross-road in my life. I'm at the cross-road and before I choose which way to go, I've decided to take a detour.

At 3pm today, a lovely woman named Naomi is coming to take posession of my apartment and my cat for the summer, leaving me without a home until the beginning of September. This is happening because at 3am tomorrow morning, Sarah Newman (my partner in crime in Tulum) and I are heading to the airport to go back to Mexico for 6 weeks.

Yes, I will be in Mexico for 6 weeks. Please don't hate me.

You may be asking yourself, "why the heck is she going back to Mexico??". Many reasons are probably running through your head, like I'm running away from my problems and frustrations, or that I'm going for a man.

Neither of these are true. Not running away, and DEFINITELY not going for a man.

I'm going for the exact opposite reason. I'm going for myself. After the recent and tragic death of another friend, I feel the need to go out into the world and to live my life as full as I possibly can. And the sad truth is, I'm not happy here right now, and I so desperately want to be happy. And I know that stepping away from my comfort zone for a while will help me gain a better perspective on my life, and make me appreciate what it is that I have when I get back.

I love my family. I love my friends. This is not about leaving them behind or taking a break from them in any way. In fact, I will miss them all very much during this time. My poor mother is having a hard time understanding why I'm doing this. Even though I've explained to her that I"m not going forever, that I'll be back before she knows it, she's scared that I'm making the wrong choice. And if she reads this, I hope it helps her and comforts her just that little bit more.

I mean, it IS ONLY 6 weeks. I'll be back for Fong's wedding and Nikki's baby. And after that I travel to London (England, not Ontario) for 2 weeks to visit the amazingly wonderful Heather and her family (FRED!! YES!!!), and the always charming and hilarious Kieran. It's going to be a great summer.

I don't know how often I'll be able to update. I'm not promising anything, except that I'll try.

And so it begins. I'm off. See you when I get back.

B.

If you know what's good for you...

...you will watch this hysterical digital short from my man, Will Ferrell.

You may have already seen it, since it's been circulating the web. If that's the case, then watch it again!!

And for those of you who will be watching it for the first time, you're welcome.

http://sjl.funnyordie.com//v1/view_video.php?viewkey=3efbc24c7d2583be6925

Sick and bored.

Being sick and bored at home with little medication available can make you pretty crazy. So I figured I'd bide my time with a little blogging action.

I realized that I never posted pictures from my fabulous surprise birthday party this year.

Sarah, Vanessa and Kendra had me utterly convinced that they were taking me to dinner. So I didn't eat a thing all day and became more and more excited as the minutes ticked by to gorge myself on delicious international cuisine and bottle after bottle of fancy wine.

Once we parked Vanessas car and were about to jump into a cab to take us the rest of the way, I was violently blindfolded by Sarah. They threw me into a taxi and drove me around for a while, saying words like, "shooters" and "strippers"...and "Port Hope". All I could think was, "wherever they're taking me, I hope to GOD there's food."

Eventually we arrived at our destination. They had rounded up my clams from Reds and surprised me by renting a private karaoke room on Bloor West! I honestly was not expecting all of my girls to be in one room together like that, and I seriously never thought it would be for me!!! It was a great night, and I love my girls so much for that. I'm so lucky.

Everyone got involved! Even Newman (with a little coercion). And as for Pam...I will say, that for a woman who claims she can't sing...MAN, does she like to perform!!

I'm a Citizen of the World, Dah-ling...

Well, I will be for the summer anyway. I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed today. I booked my flight to Mexico this morning, and thought, "while I'm at it I may as well book my flight to London as well."

AAAAAAAAAAA!!!

As it stands, I leave for Tulum at the end of this month - April 30th - and return in time for Fong's wedding on the 11th of June. One and half months in paradise! I then spend the next few weeks chilling out in the T-Dot and fly out to London on the 7th of July. I'm going to spend 2 weeks there visiting my dear friends Heather and Kieran, and I finally get to meet Heather's new family!!

After hearing so much about Dave over the past couple of years and seeing his pictures on Heathers blog, I have a feeling it'll be like meeting a celebrity. ANd then of course there's little Fred. Oh GOD!! I can't even begin to explain how excited I am to be meeting Fred! It'll be heaven, I'm sure.

So, by the end of the summer I will be a broke, homeless bag lady...but a broke, homeless bag lady with a wicked tan and amazing tales to tell.

I'm excited and nervous all at the same time. More nervous about my finances than anything else, but that's normal. This is going to be one of the best summers of my life, and I plan on taking you all along for the ride...

...via my blog, of course. I didn't mean that literally.

Sanjaya Malakar.

Um...

...WHAT.THE.BLOODY.HELL.IS.GOING.ON???????????

If he doesn't get voted off tomorrow night I just may pull out every single one of my eyelashes, one by one.

Thoughts...

Sometimes, when we lose ourselves in fear and despair, in routine and constancy, in hopelessness and tragedy, we can thank God for Bavarian sugar cookies. And fortunately, when there aren’t any cookies, we can still find reassurance in a familiar hand on our skin. Or a kind and loving gesture. Or a subtle encouragement. Or a loving embrace. Or an offer of comfort. Not to mention hospital gurneys. And nose plugs. An uneaten danish, and soft-spoken secrets. And Fender Stratocasters. And maybe, the occasional piece of fiction. And we must remember that all these things: the nuances, the anomalies, the subtleties which we assume only accessorize our days are in fact here for a much larger and nobler cause. They are here to save our lives. I know the idea sounds strange, but I also know that it just so happens to be true.

- "Stranger Than Fiction"

myheritage.com

Alicia and Allie told me about this incredibly fun website called www.myheritage.com. Apparently, anyone with a Facebook account already knows about it. Since I don't have one, I had to be told by those who do.

You can upload your picture onto the site, and it scans your face then finding the celebrities you most look like.

Below are the celebrities they chose for me.

And whoever "they" are, they are damn perceptive on a couple of them...





















Kirsten Dunst - 86%















Kim Cattrall - 83%


















Jessica Biel - 83%





















Raqeul Welch - 75%
(this one I totally see.)





















Henry Fonda - 75%
(um...)




















Oprah - 73%





















Melanie Chisholm (a.k.a. Sporty Spice) - 72%

Scarlett Johannson - 71%

Pamela Anderson - 68%

(now, why this one wasn't at the top of the list is beyond me.)

Tulum, Mexico.

So after several attempts to take a vacation over the past couple of months, I finally made it happen!!

Sarah Newman and myself booked our flights and our first three nights stay at the Papaya Playa in Tulum Mexico. For those of you who don't know about Tulum, it's 130 km south of Cancun. It's not infested with tourists, there are miles of white sandy beaches that are practically deserted. It's an eco-friendly, relaxed place where time disappears. The cabana establishments along the beach run on generators that shut off at 11 pm, so at night you can see every single star in the sky. Spectacular.

We didn't take a watch, or our phones. We were up with the sunrise every day, ate when we were hungry and slept when we were tired. We loved the Papaya Playa so much that we stayed for the entire 12 days.

There were initial problems getting off the ground, however. Sarah had been so busy with school and work before leaving that she didn't notice one crucial factor...her passport was expired. Yikes

U.S. Customs didn't catch it initially, but they did when we were boarding our layover flight in North Carolina. Sarah was told that Mexico would not let her in the country without her birth certificate, which she didn't have. So we had no choice but to fly all the way back home and start all over again the next day.

It truly sucked missing a day, but in the end we wound up extending our stay in Tulum by 4 days, so we made up for it!!

Here are our pictures. Although they are good, they don't capture the amazingness that was our trip.

Enjoy!

We refer to this day as: The Day that Never Happened.
We spent 5 hours in the North Carolina airport waiting for our flight back to Toronto.

The N.C. airport is like a mall. There are shops and restaurants everywhere. We decided on Phillips Seafood because the nice man at the US Airways Special Service desk recommended it.
It was good.....especially their $10 US Bloody Marys. Ouch.

We finally MADE IT!!! Straight to the beach!!

Notice how pasty white we are. So attractive.

The Dank Cabana #26.
After Sarah got sick, it became even danker...is that even a word? It should be.

The beach at dawn.

Sarah eating our standard breakfast...bread dipped in nutella. Yummmm...

We practically had the beach to ourselves in the morning. It was glorious!

The Papaya Playa had an area on the beach with these hanging, swinging beds.
They were perfect for hungover days and afternoon siestas.

We rented a car. We had planned on taking the shuttle from Cancun, but wound up renting a car. I'm sorry mom and dad for lying. But it was the most convenient thing ever!

And it was totally safe. I PROMISE!!
Except for the Wild West way of driving in Tulum itelf...

Even the bar had swings instead of stools. It proved for some scary moments, when you had 20 people along on side getting rowdy and bouncing up and down!!
Sarah and I spent a lot of time in those swings....
...LECHE CLEMENTE!!!!!

More sunrises. Glorious sunrises.
Notice the pelican diving in the water?? Serious photographer skills.

We bought a $7 water floaty from town; we used it to float, surf and even just to lie on on the beach. It was quite a handy! We left it behind. It was our contribution to the Papaya Playa.

Plus it wouldn't have been allowed as a carry-on. Probably would have been seen as a "weapon".

Oh, Dylan. Such a nice guy. He's from Ireland and was in Mexico just backpacking around. A little lothario, he made the girls cry...well, not us. We were his designated Mamasitas. Anyway, he's avery talented writer and is going into the restaurant business. Great guy.

Orlando in the front and Jaime (pron. Hai-mee) at the bar. Two of our favourite workers at Papaya Playa. They were always there with smiles on, even when they'd worked 16 hours days for the past 5 days.

Another glamour shot.

Me, Dylan and Sarah, a photographer from Paris. Parisiennes have the best accents!!

Mike (a.k.a Denver)...from Denver. The bartender extraordinnaire. His gear was stolen from his Hostel, and started working at P.P. to make some cash while his family worked on getting his paperwork in order to get him home.
That was 2 years ago.
He decided to stay and work. I can't wait to go back and take his job from him.

Sarah, Sergio and me. Sergio is one of the owners of the Papaya Playa, and quickly became Sarah's "special friend".
The minute they saw each other, they were immediately smitten. It was so crazy being a witness to it, because in the 11 years I've known her I've never seen her like this. And he's such a great guy to boot.
Oh, and the civiche we ate that night made Sarah violently ill for 24 hours. Not me though...I LOVED it!!

Me and Denver.

Sarah recovering from her food poisoning.

Sergio speeding up the recovery!

Little Ganesh, the Papaya Playa Puppy!

Me watching Sarah and Dylan play water frisbee from my swinging bed.

Dylan learning about the restaurant biz...Mexicana Style!!

What we did nearly every night: Play Gin Rummy, drink cervezas, eat chicken enchilladas and gossip about the people at P.P.
Oh, and I suck at Gin Rummy. I lost every time. Every. Time.
I hate Gin Rummy.

Shiva, Ganesh's mommy.
So Cute and Cuddly!!
She became our dog on the trip. Sarah and her were bunk mates most of the time.

Sarah and the Serg.

Sunrise on Valentines Day.
The beginning of a very good day.

The tans are starting to become visible, although they could still use a little work.
More on that later...

Marco, me, Rafael and Sarah.
Rafa approached me at the bar on Valentines day, and is still very much my #1 Valentine.

I think is the one night Sarah let us bring Crazy 8's to the table.
And yeah...I still lost.
But it still made for a great photo!

Sergio "Basset Hound" Lopez.

Marco, me and Rafa. Marco is Rafa's cousin and an all around good guy.

Our morning routine: Sarah doing yoga at sunrise and me watching her.
In my opinion, vacation is no time for exercise.
I'd read or just watch the beautiful dawn.

The view from our second cabana, #52. A HUGE improvement from #26.
Not dank at all. Nice and breezy with a bathroom that didn't smell like sewage.

This was a fun night. Emilio, the other owner of P.P. invited a group of his friends to celebrate one of their birthdays at the restaurant at P.P, and invited us along. This is me, Bernie, Sarah and Easy (not his real name).
We were so excited to have an "event" to attend that we went out an bought ourselves dresses to wear. We were the Belles of the Ball!

Santi, the man in blue, was the birthday boy.

Easy getting crazy with Denver.

Sarah and Juan, a.k.a Sneaky Monkey.

Keeping the party going! I think I'm using the ketchup bottle as a microphone...

Okay, so there are beautiful oceanside Mayan ruins in Tulum, which are only 3 kms from Papaya Playa. So Sarah and I decided that we should go seeing as how it's culture and they're right there and we had nothing better to do other than sit on the beach and tan. Which is what we did everyday.
Upon arrival at the site, however, we were confronted with bus loads of Pasty white, fanny pack, sombrero wearing Americans and their screaming, complaining children.
So we didn't go in.
But we did take this picture with the large plastic scale model out front!

And this one, in front of the exit.

Me walking away...so sad.
Next time we'll go, and we'll go early.
Before the gringos arrive.

Sarah and I were having a siesta on our swinging bed one evening, and were violently awakened by a child shouting something in spanish beside our heads.

This was our first meeting with Diego, Rafael's 4 year old nephew.
Rafael was babysitting him that day and decided to bring him to P.P. to hang out with us.
We spent some time playing on the beach until Rafa whisked us off to watch the sunset at the biosphere in Sian Khan.

Diego had these really cool light sabres that lit up and made the noises!
He almost took my head off! Totally intense!

Diego being Spider-Man.

The following picture were taken by Diego.

Notice the Spider-Man sweater? Yeah, it's Diego's.
Sarah can fit into a 4 year olds's clothing.

Such a wonderful kid. I hope to be able to hang out with him again one day.

This was Dave and Karen's last day. They're the couple in the middle, on the right of me.
They're from Seattle and they were such a blast to hang out with!!
The night Sarah was sick, I got a little crazy with them, a couple of Estonian guys and a few girls from France on the beach on the middle of the night.
I guess the bottle of Don Julio tequila we managed to polish off in a matter of minutes is to blame.

This was the first time I'd brushed my hair in a few days...I quite like the bouffant look, actually.

This was our first double-date night with Sergio and Rafael.
The north winds (from Canada! dammit!!) made the evening a little chilly, so our choice of a beach-front restaurant wasn't the smartest choice.
But it was very nice, none-the-less.

Waiting for Rafa to join us for breakfast at our friend Joaquin's cafe.

Okay, so we were down to our final 2 days, and we decided to step up our tanning a little bit.
We went to town and bought Hawaiian Tropic SPF 4 Deep Tanning Oil Spray.
And then we "went to town" on our tans.
Heehee...notice my play on words?
....yeah.

The above two pics are what Sarah calls her "Bikini Revenge" Pics.
Since it was her LOCO ex-boyfriend who told her about Tulum in the first place, she decided to send these pictures to him in an email with the simple message,
"Thanks for the tip, big guy."



Our second double-date night at a great Italian restaurant in town.
The boys were....a little late.

Okay, try 2 hours late.
Notice the bottle of wine in the first pic, followed by the bottle of champagne in the second?
We decided to be super mad at Sergio and Rafa when they arrived...


...but of course that plan went right out the window.
It was our last night! No reason to be mad in our final hours.

Deanna is such a sweetheart. She was the first person we met at Papaya Playa and became a good friend.

Saying goodbye to Shiva. Almost the hardest goodbye for Sarah.
Almost.

Sarah's Hardest Goodbye.

My goodbye was a little easier. Rafa drove half way back to Cancun with us.
We dropped him off in Playa del Carmen where he was meeting his mom.
Notice my sunburn? That's the universe telling me that no matter how tanned I think I am, I should never, ever break out the deep tanning oil spray again.
Note taken.

So we had film left in our disposable camera at the airport, so we had someone take our
"Typical North American" photos. Notice the main elements: The crazy Mexican hats, the Marlborough lights and the Coronas. The one above it my mom's favourite pic.
I think she's kidding.

Back in Toronto.
Tanned, but freezing.
And sad. Even though you can't tell.

I hope you enjoyed the pictures and the stories, but just know that no matter how much I tried to elaborate, no photo or caption can ever truly capture the time Sarah and I had. It was two of the best weeks of my life, and I'm very happy I could share some of my joy with all of you.