The Dress: Part 1

From what I've seen on TV, there is a formula to trying on wedding dresses.

Here is how it goes:

A bride-to-be shows up at a "bridal gown salon" and brings her closest female family and friends with her. This entourage normally consists of the mother, any sisters she has, her entire bridal party and some sorority sisters for good measure. Because apparently you can't have enough opinions when it comes to deciding on your wedding dress.

The saleswoman, a middle-aged woman who wears a big rock on her ring finger (is she married or is it there for show? You never ask and will never know), smiles and shakes everyone's hand. She asks the bride-to-be what her budget is, what she does and does not like, then gets to work pulling slightly worn dresses in crinkly plastic coverings off of racks.

First dress on, bride-to-be steps out in front of the crowd, everyone talks at once. "It looks like cupcake frosting!", "I don't like how it falls at the back!", "waaaaay too poofy!", "I'd like to see it in ivory!", "it would look better with more bling on the top!", and the dreaded, "it makes you look fat!".

On TV, that dress usually looks something like this:


Crestfallen, the bride-to-be retreats to the dressing room with the saleswoman, who comforts her while she steps into dress #2.

Second dress on, similar reaction, a bit more hostile. After all, people have places to be other than watching their "best friend" try on wedding dresses. "You really like that?", "it looks like it's been dragged along the floor!", "you will look back at your pictures in five years and wonder what the hell you were thinking!", "I'd never, EVER wear something like THAT!"

That dress normally looks something like this:


Then, somewhere between dress #2 and dress #1,000, it happens.

The bride-to-be finally finally tries on "The Dress", and just knows. Her face lights up, her friends gasp, then the tears start flowing. Suddenly everyone is clutching each others arms, grabbing for the tissue box. "Oh my Gosh, Mindy...you're a princess!", "Mindy! You're PERFECT in that dress!", "Wow...there are no words, Min. You're a vision!", "THAT'S the dress, Mindy! It's the ONE!". Mindy beams, wipes her tears, spins around and declares, "YES! THIS is my dress!!"

These days, from what I've seen on TV, THE dress looks a little like this:

(I know, I know. I don't know how these dresses are even allowed to be considered "bridal"....but it's all the rage these days. Hideous.)

I have been out twice now looking for The Dress. Both times were semi-successful. They could have been fully-successful, however the saleswoman with the big rock managed to gently urge me into a few that were slightly out of my budget.

Not a good idea.

Because one of those dresses I'm pretty sure was MY "The Dress".

I didn't burst into tears, nor did my sister or 2 girlfriends who accompanied me. I definitely felt flushed and couldn't stop smiling. There was definite beam-age, and maybe a twirl. But since the price was...more...than I had budgeted to pay, I didn't make any declarations about it in front of the saleswoman. I told her I'd have to come back with my mom, took the dress off with a heavy heart, and left the store.

For obvious reasons I am not going to post THE dress on here. In fact, I'm hesitant to post ANY of the dresses I tried on...I don't want Nat to get ANY ideas of what I might be wearing. And in case you were wondering, I have not tried on - nor would I ever consider trying on - any of the above dresses. Not exactly my style.

Now here's another reason why Jennifer (my Wedding Planner) ROCKS! I told her about my plight, and she is going to look into whether or not she can track down The Dress for a better price! She made no promises, but my fingers and toes are crossed!

In the meantime, I am going out for a third time on Saturday to a place that I've heard has nice dresses that are well within my budget. Hopefully there will be something comparable....

...now just for sheer shock value, here is a picture of the most frightening wedding dress I have ever seen in my entire life, that someone's fiancee may or may not have told me he likes. Agree or disagree?

(for the record, he didn't say he liked it. He hasn't yet seen it...so he very well may!)